69 Sexy Ways to Spice Up Things

New & Creative Ways To Keep it Interesting!

by Shameless Sex authors, Amy Baldwin and Amber Lampert

Meet the ‘Shameless Sex’ duo team of Amy and Amber, podcasters, authors and sex educators!

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1.     Giving and receiving nights. A few rules: the giver does not get to receive on the same night as when they give. Penetrative sex is off the table. And the receiver gets to make two requests for what they’d like to receive + the giver gets to negotiation what they are willing to give.

2.     Buy your lover a gift – some clothing or jewelry. Be waiting wearing nothing but the gift when they come home from their day.

3.     Surprise your partner by decorating your kitchen + cooking dinner from a specific theme/country. A night in Italy! A night in Thailand! A night in Peru! Yummmm!

4.     Spend your evening playtime touching and exploring – but with no words! Speak through touch and silence.

5.     Give your partner a sensual massage. For no reason. Use lots of body-safe oils all over the body. And use more than your hands to massage (forearms, breasts, get creative!)

6.     Light some candles and take a hot bubble bath together. Bonus points for adding sexy music. And chocolate. Or wine. Or waterproof vibrating sex toys.

7.     Hand write love letters to each other on fancy stationary, seal it up with a kiss.

8.     Play the word game. Say a sensual/arousing/erotic word, and then your lover can say a word in response. Repeat as long as desired and get aroused! 

9.     Learn how to say sexy phrases to each other in another language. Choose 5-6 words or phrases and have sex while only saying those words/phrases. 

10. Ravish nerve endings that don’t always get touched. Spend an evening SLOWLY kissing and nibbling on the neck and ears, eventually combining with hands/fingers stimulating their breasts, nipples, etc, from behind.

11. Share three appreciations with your partner. Then have them share three things that they appreciate about you. Lastly, share three fears and then three hopes. See what happens!

12. Have a sex life check in. Start with what is really working/awesome, then follow with what you would like more of (if any).

13. Steam kiss your lover’s sensual parts (like when you clean your sunglasses by fogging them with your breath). Try to avoid touching them with your lips by hovering and sensually steam kissing all over their body.

14. Plan seemingly impossible adventures: what do you two want to do together? Then set a date to make them happen.

15. Melt your favorite chocolate and use paint brushes to paint on your lover’s body. Then lick off (but avoid the vulva/vagina if the chocolate has sugar in it).  

16. Blindfold your partner and then use feathers, make-up brushes and other soft household items for light tickling strokes on the erogenous zones. Ask your partner to mmmm if something feels really good. Get creative. Look around the house and try different things. Bonus points for adding some items that might provide a little sting or bite (but ask your partner first).

17. Cuddling, it never gets old. Get in a spooning position and align the breath. Little spoon guides and big spoon follows. Do this for 5-10 minutes in silence to come into a deeper connection.

18. Gently bath your partner using a bath scrub, soft loofa and your favorite luxurious soap. Then carefully rinse and dry their entire body using a soft towel. Finish by spreading moisturizing body cream.

19. Wash your lover’s hair for them. Give them a nice, long head massage as you shampoo.

20. Kiss and lick words on each other's bodies, and then try guessing the words. Bonus points for licking action words and then having your partner act them out/perform them on you instead of verbally guessing.

21. Give your lover oral sex while they are preparing dinner or washing dishes.

22. Sit facing each other with your hands to each other’s heart. Meditate on the sensations and breath for 10 minutes.

23. Kissing and lick all around the tailbone, lower back, and sides.

24. Explore mutual masturbation. Ask your lover to pleasure themselves while you watch + pleasure yourself at the same time. Take in the hot eye candy in front of you, and perhaps take note of the way your partner likes to be touched.

25. Go on a date night to your local sex shop – with the intention to buy something new to go home and try.

26. Take a sex ed class together.

27. Take a dance class together.

28. Have underwear (or naked) cooking/dinner nights, and then dance in the kitchen as your cook in your underwear. 

29. Leave love notes all over the house for your lover. Bonus points for doing so in their suitcase when they leave on a (business) trip. 

30. Get naked and play! Naked dancing/contact improve => naked wrestling => naked cuddle/massage => tie it all together by giving each other orgasms

31. Give your partner a pedicure. Wash and scrub their feet + give them a foot rub. Polish and filing optional. To turn up the heat, allow the hands to travel upward

32. Give your partner a manicure. Scrub and soak their hands. Follow with a massage. Play with different types of touch, including feather touch. Run you finger very lightly on the front and back of all the partner's fingers and palm. Turn up the heat by using the mouth to lick and suck on the fingers.

33. Spend 5 minutes eye-gazing in silence - with or without face-cradling.

34. Try role-play. See what personas you can take on. Go with whatever turns you on. Or get creative and become animals or fictional creatures.

35. Take weekly sunset walks or hikes to unwind and reconnect. Or if you are a morning person, sit in silence together over coffee or tea as you watch the sunrise.

36. Hug and hold it until you can both really feel each other’s heart beats.

37. Do 5 minutes of yoga side by side. Then 3 minutes of breathing side by side. Turn up the heat by wearing lingerie, or nothing at all.

38. Go on a bicycle ride, but on one that is built for two.

39. Read erotica together.

40. Watch an instructional sex-ed DVD video together, then practice.

41. Listen to sex-themed podcast or eBook together

42. Plan a 24-hour staycation where you pretend as if you are snowed in without power. Turn off all phones and electronics (except for some music on your mobile speaker perhaps), turn off all lights and only use candles. Build a fire in the fireplace if you have one. And let the connecting begin!

43. Slather oil all over your lover and then use your body to give them a massage

44. Turn your naked body into a decadent platter for your partner to eat off of. 

45. Set mirrors up next to the bed and admire yourselves as you play.

46. Create together! A book group, a workshop, a themed-meetup, an offering for the community – anything that gets you two working together with those creative juices flowing.

47. Get the book “101 Nights of Great Sex” for 101 creative ideas for more sensual connection – and commit to doing 1-2 per week.

48. Turn some porn on and use the audio to pretend like there are other people having sex in the same room as you.

49. Play with edging. Decide together on a timeframe in which to keep getting the other close to orgasm, but don’t bring them over the top until time is up. Could be one hour, could be a week.

50. Make a list of all of the places you’d love to have sex. Cities, outdoors, different places around the house, etc. Then start tackling that list!

51. Play strip Twister (the game with colored circles), or strip poker…strip anything! Rock, paper, scissors?

52. Sit in your partner’s lap, facing each other: Rule: your partner cannot touch you with their own hands. Only you can guide them wherever you want them to go on your body. Play with this for a while and switch roles. Take note of how your partner likes to be touched by your hands.

53. Make a sexual activities jar. Keep putting in fantasies, ideas, and suggestions as you think of them. Whenever you feel like you want to spice things up, pull one out. 

54. Play around with temperature play. Alternate between using your warm mouth and cooled hands (via ice water) to touch your partner.

55. Make processing sexy. After an intimate time with your partner, ask them to describe their recount of what just happened as if they were boasting to a good friend.

56. Try describing every movement or sensation that is happening in the present moment: “I’m touching your A and it feels B. I see your rubbing your C, and I want you to D”. Not only will this create presence, but it can also function as hot sexy (AKA dirty) talk.

57. Explore erotic storytelling. Set a timer for 2 minutes and then one person gets to start an erotic story featuring all who are present. After the 2 minutes, reset the timer so the next person can add onto the story. Do this until you get so turned on that you cannot keep your hands of each other.

58. Have a hard time talking about fantasies? Write out your own erotic novel featuring you and your lover, and then read it to them or leave it somewhere for them to discover.

59. Let your inner primal animal come out! Have sex where all parties are only allowed to act and sound as an animal of their choice.

60. Blindfold + tie your partner’s hands up (with consent of course) and then ask them to verbally guide you by telling you everything that they want you to do (this helps to strengthen communication skills as well).

61.  Get artsy and make a vision board of your future life together. Have fun with it while inspiring all that you wish to create side by side. Don’t forget to add a sexy vacation or two to the mix.

62. Re-live or re-enact your first date all over again. Re-tell the story. Set the scene. Pretend like it's the first day you met and do it all over again

63. Give your partner a full body naked massage. Step 1: Everyone gets naked. Step 2: Invite your lover to lay facedown and then apply massage oil all over the backside of their body. Step 3: Use your entire body to massage them. Hands, forearms, breasts, ass, feet –  get creative and allow every part of your to rub/grind/massage/knead every part of them.

64. Add the Hot Lava Game to your full body naked massage: Have the lighter/smaller person get on top of their partner’s backside as if they are an island that they must stay on and anything outside of the island (the bed/floor/massage table, etc) is hot lava (meaning the top person is not touching anything other than the bottom person’s body). Use the pressure and weight of your entire body to rub/grind/massage/knead your partner while trying to maintain the skin on skin contact.

65. Go to your local Whole Foods or other natural food store and buy all of the fruits you’ve never tasted before and then cut them up and seductively feed them to each other.

66. Dance for your lover. Take a S-Factor, Pole, Bellydance or any other sensual dance class and then do a mini performance at home. Don’t have those classes in your area? YouTube it and then practice.

Bonus 3 by ZH

67. Try a float spa with your partner. Book a warm float pool locally at 98-100º to match your body temperature and high salt content to float. Add lights, sounds or go black together… it can be wild or tranquil.

68. Create sexyime outside in nature, a beach, a forest, in the snow? Embrace the natural elements and feel the energy of mother earth. Get loud or quiet. Please be aware of local rules and regulations!

69. 6-9…you know it, now try it again, enough said. Go out there and be bold!

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Post originally written
by Shameless Sex blog

Adapted for Zen Hustlers
by Jared Brick

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Build sexual energy and learn more from expert Dr. Willow Brown, interviewed on the Zen Hustlers Balance podcast. Enjoy it all.